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June 12th, 2007
08:06 pm - soul mate????
Do you believe in soul mates? Me? well, I dont know.... I recently met this person, who seemsto be the embodiment of what I look for in a special someone who could make me really happy.
She's very smart. Likes books, and happens to like the same stuff as I do. We even have the same fave poem of Pablo Neruda's. Deymn..... I mean... we aren't using the same service provider for our mobile fones, but hell, kung mag usap kame... daig pa ang parehong nka sun.... hehehehehehehehhehehehehe....
She makes me *kilig* and laugh out loud whenever we talk... she seems too good to be true. I hope she meant it when she said that she doesn't go for looks.... I mean I'm confident that I can hold my on with the intelligence dept. but I hope she's really not someone who likes beauty and brains. The brains i have, but looks.... uhhhhhhh..... never mind. It would take someone really perverted to find me attractive.
D maalis smile ko, whenever I think about the last time we talked. I still feel giddy when I think of your voice. hai.... *gets all mooney eyed and all*
If you happen to drop by this page and read this.... The offer still stands... even if you find yourself not interested romantically. I'd understand...
Current Mood:  giddy
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07:54 pm - Fornicate Under Consent of the King (F.U.C.K)!!!!!!!!!!!!
fuck! fuck! and a million more FUCKs!!!!! I'm so like, wanting to update my blog in friendster.... and guess what?????? they have fuckin encountered a fucking problem!!!!!! I mean..... HUWAAAAAAAAAATTTTTTTTT??????????
Are they fuckin real???? i mean AAAAAARRRRRRRGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!
Current Mood:  angry
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February 3rd, 2007
08:09 pm - the art of letting go
here i am writing...errrr...typing all my feelings on this blog... i guess i just want to let some of my misery out on these pages. i know that these words wont get to her. she's no longer on my list and im blocked from hers. my friends say, let go... i say to myself the same thing... a voice inside me answers.... HOW?
how do learn start letting go? how? is there an equation you could apply? a balm to soothe your pain? or perhaps a hot/cold compress you can put over your bruised ego?
how do you teach yourself not to miss that person? how do you teach your heart to stop loving them? how do you keep yourself from reaching out in the middle of the night intending to snuggle up to them but instead find an empty bed?
what i would give to stop hurting. I wish i knew how to keep from dialing her number, even though i know that she's changed it. i keep telling myself that im strong, that i had fun way before she came into my life, and i will have more fun now that she's gone. why, then, do i find myself moping around the house searching for signs of her? why do i wake up crying in the middle of the night, alone in my empty bed? why cant i seem to move on? she's made it pretty clear that she's already done that. perhaps happier now with someone else.
as a parting shot, allow me to borrow a line from brokeback mountain....i wish i knew how to quit you... i miss you...
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July 13th, 2005
08:41 pm
All alone on a Sunday morning
Outside I see the rain is falling, falling
Inside I'm slowly dying
But the rain will hide my crying, crying, crying
And you...
Don't you know my tears will burn the pillow
Set this place on fire
'Cause I'm tired of your lie
All I needed was a simple "Hello"
But the traffic was so noisy that you could not hear me cry
I gave you my love in vain
My body never knew such pleasure
My heart never knew such pain
(And you) You leave me so confused
Now I'm all cried out, over you
[112]
ooh
Cryin' over you, yeah
Never wanted to see things your way
Had to go astray
For why was I such a fool (Why was I such a fool?)
Now I see that the grass is greener
Is it too late for me to find my way home
How could I be so wrong?
[Allure]
Leaving me all alone
Don't you know my tears will cause an inferno
Romance of these flames
Why should I take the blame?
You were the one who left me neglected (So sorry baby)
Apology not accepted
At me to the broken hearts you've collected
I gave you all of me (Gave you all of me)
How was I to know
You would weaken so easily
I don't know what to do (I don't know what to do)
Now I'm all cried out (All cried out)
Over you
I gave you my love in vain
My body never knew such pleasure
My heart never knew such pain
And you
[112]
You left me so confused
[Allure]
Now I'm all cried out
Now I'm all cried out
Over you
[112]
so sorry baby, please forgive me
please forgive me
Current Mood:  confused
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July 12th, 2005
03:27 am - hmmmm....
atay sakit ako pus-on... daghan tawag...
Current Mood: bitchy
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May 12th, 2005
04:50 am
You Are A Realistic Romantic |
You are more romantic than 60% of the population.
It's easy for you to get swept away by romance...
But you've done a pretty good job keeping perspective.
You're still taken in by love poems and sunsets
You just don't fall for every dreamy pick up line! |
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May 8th, 2005
02:15 am
SADDEST POEM
I can write the saddest poem of all tonight.
Write, for instance: "The night is full of stars,
and the stars, blue, shiver in the distance."
The night wind whirls in the sky and sings.
I can write the saddest poem of all tonight.
I loved her, and sometimes she loved me too.
On nights like this, I held her in my arms.
I kissed her so many times under the infinite sky.
She loved me, sometimes I loved her.
How could I not have loved her large, still eyes?
I can write the saddest poem of all tonight.
To think I don't have her. To feel that I've lost her.
To hear the immense night, more immense without her.
And the poem falls to the soul as dew to grass.
What does it matter that my love couldn't keep her.
The night is full of stars and she is not with me.
That's all. Far away, someone sings. Far away.
My soul is lost without her.
As if to bring her near, my eyes search for her.
My heart searches for her and she is not with me.
The same night that whitens the same trees.
We, we who were, we are the same no longer.
I no longer love her, true, but how much I loved her.
My voice searched the wind to touch her ear.
Someone else's. She will be someone else's. As she once
belonged to my kisses.
Her voice, her light body. Her infinite eyes.
I no longer love her, true, but perhaps I love her.
Love is so short and oblivion so long.
Because on nights like this I held her in my arms,
my soul is lost without her.
Although this may be the last pain she causes me,
and this may be the last poem I write for her.
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April 22nd, 2005
06:14 am - heads up, jubers!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
found ninotchka roska's book... i almost keeled over and died yesterday. damn!!!! i wanted to buy the book right there and then. damn! they only have it brand new, paper back is 500 bucks and hard bound is 1 grand. whew!!!
oh and by the way, naay bargain nga book 5 grand ang original price... title is: gorbachev (?) adn stalin as leaders... ambot lang if it means anything... hehehehehhe... pewo ambot lang... am going to buy a book about martyrs, naa c eman lakaba sa story. hai... damn, mabuang na ko ani sa powerbooks from now on.
i mishu... la jud ka nitext nako... how r u guys?
BTW, hapit na ako bday!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! yahooo!!!!!!!!!!!
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March 5th, 2005
04:19 pm - falling in love
It is a mystery why we fall in love.
It is a mystery how it happens. It is a mystery when
it comes. It is a mystery why some love grows and it
is a mystery why some love fails.
You can analyze this mystery and look for the reasons
and courses, but you will never do anymore than take
the life out of the experience. Just as life itself
is more then the sum of the bones and muscles and
electrical impulses in the body, love is more than the
sum of the interests and attractions and commonalties
that two people share. And just as life itself is a
gift that comes and goes in its own time, so too the
coming of love must be taken as an unfathomable gist
that cannot be questioned in its ways.
Sometimes, hopefully, at least once in your life, the
gift of love will come to you in full bloom, and you
will take hold of it and celebrate it in all
inexpressable beauty. This is the dream we all share.
More often, it will come and take hold of you,
celebrate you for a brief moment, then move on.
When it happens, some people often try to grasp the
love and hold it to them, refusing to see that it is a
gift that is freely given and a gift that just as
freely, moves away. When they fall out of love, or
the person they love feels the spirit of love leaving,
they try desperately to reclaim the love that is lost
rather than accepting the gift for what it was, then
moving on.
They want answers where there are no answers. They
want to know what is wrong in them that made the other
person no longer love them, or try to get their lover
to change, thinking that if some small things were
different, love would bloom again. They blame their
circumstances and say that if they go far away and
start a new life together, their love would grow.
You need to know this about love and accept it. You
need to treat what it brings with kindness. If you
find yourself in love with someone who does not love
you, be gentle with yourself. There is nothing wrong
with you. Love just didn't choose to rest in the
other person's heart.
If you find someone else in love with you and you
don't love him/her, feel honored that love came and
called at your door, but gently refuse the gift you
cannot return. Do not take advantage; do not cause
pain. How you deal with love is how you deal with
you, and all hearts feel the same pains and joys, even
if our lives and ways are different.
If you fall in love with another, and he/she falls in
love with you, and then love chooses to leave, do not
try to reclaim it or to asses blame. Let it go.
There is a reason and there is a meaning. You will
know in time.
Remember that you do not choose to love. Love chooses
you. All you can really do is accept it for all its
mystery when it comes into your life. Feel the way it
feels you to oveflowing, then reach out and give it
away. Give it back to the person who brought it alive
in you. Give it to others who deem it poor in spirit.
Give it to the world around you in anyway you can.
There is where many lovers go wrong. Having been so
long without love, they understand love only as a
need. They see their hearts as empty places that will
be filled by love, and they begin to look at love as
something that flows to them rather than from them.
The first blush of new love is filled to overflowing,
but as their love cools, they revert to seeing their
love as a need. They cease to be someone who generate
love and instead becomes someone who seeks love. They
forgot that the secret of love is that it is a gift,
and that it can be made to grow only by giving it
away.
Remember this and keep it to your heart. Love has its
own time, its own seasons, and its own reason, for
coming and going. You cannot bribe it or coerce it,
or reason it into staying. You can only embrace it
when it arrives and give it away when it comes to you.
But if it chooses to leave from your heart or from
the heart of your lover, there is nothing you can do
and there is nothing you should do. Love always has
been and always will be a mystery. Be glad that it
came to live for a moment in your life. If you keep
your heart open, it will come again.
Author Unknown
Current Mood:  amused
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February 27th, 2005
10:04 am - 2 days more and counting...
am fucking tired... can't wait to hop on the first plane to cebu... which reminds me, i need to pick up my ticket. hahai... my back hurts, ive been sitting since 9pm. and i need to be back by 9pm tonight.
then im home free!!! i'll be going home and everything there is FREE!!! nyahahahahahhahhah!!!!!
Current Mood:  bouncy
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